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Want to live chemical free? Try Doctor Bacfarc’s Dark Matter Diet™!

1 Apr 2015, 14:16 UTC
Want to live chemical free? Try Doctor Bacfarc’s Dark Matter Diet™!
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ELEEMOSYNARY, WEST VIRGINIA — In the modern era, it seems chemicals are ubiquitous: in our air, water, even in the food we eat. That problem has many consumers worried, prompting people to take an active part in looking at what they are exposed to on a daily basis.
Bacfarc’s Dark Matter Soup™. Try it today!
“We’ve actually reached the point where humans are made up of as much as 80 percent hydrogen hydroxide,” says University of Northern West Virginia researcher Villam Bacfarc. “It is widely known that breathing hydrogen hydroxide can lead to almost instantaneous death.”
But it was looking at the labels of many food products that made Bacfarc start thinking about how he could help others. As adjunct professor of quantum nutrition, Bacfarc is widely read in all the latest research on chemical hazards in food. He was inspired by Dr. Mehmet “Dr. Oz” Oz and especially Vani Hari, AKA The Food Babe, who told ABC News, “When you look at the ingredients, if you can’t spell it or pronounce it, you probably shouldn’t eat it.”
Hari’s activism led the fast-food chain Subway to remove a common chemical used to condition its bread dough, and similarly has pushed ...

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