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Star Stryder

Redefining “real”

9 Jun 2015, 18:07 UTC
Redefining “real”
(200 words excerpt, click title or image to see full post)

This blog has gone largely silent for far too long while I’ve put my efforts into trying to raise funds for CosmoQuest, and move other projects forward. At this point, all the proposals that matter are submitted and all the work that was deemed most dire is done. It has been an ugly year, and looking back on things, I can see over and over places where my efficiency and my health were impacted by a constant struggle to live up to impossible external expectations. Over and over, people laid out definitions of “real” and in an attempt to, well, stay funded… and in an attempt to not be judged negatively (because I apparently still try to conform to expectations) I got lost in these other peoples’ definitions of “real”.
I’m going to be honest here. I am not tenured/tenure track faculty. I have no job security, very few benefits, and spend just about every day worried about where money is going to come from for me and for my team. I have to worry that if I fuck up, it’s going to cost me and my team that next donation, that next grant, or that next opportunity that would ...

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